My wife over heard this conversation between our 6 Year Old Son and our 5 Year Old Son this morning while they were playing (this was in character).
6 Year Old Son: I don't like your tone.
5 Year Old Son: I guess you can be the big genius.
5 Year Old Son: Give me 50 bucks and I will let you into my school.
6 Year Old Son: Then I will kill you.
5 Year Old Son: Give me 50 bucks.
6 Year Old Son: Let me tell you something.
5 Year Old Son: It's these two guys talking.
6 Year Old Son: good job. You two are unconscious. Sorry.
5 Year Old Son: Don't fight me like that, I am a good guy.
6 Year Old Son sings. "super zapper loudness".
5 Year Old Son: those are the pirates. I will throw something at you.
6 Year Old Son: That doesn't hurt, I have a windshield.
5 Year Old Son: ahhhhhh. Take that!
6 Year Old Son: Good job you guys, thanks. Are you happy that I used my criminal mastermind?
5 Year Old Son: Yes. Boom, ahhh.
6 Year Old Son: uh oh. There is a mean soldier. He is good, but he is mean. He has a big blaster.
5 Year Old Son. 6 Year Old Son, he's not mean.
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Saturday, September 27, 2008
Legendary actor Paul Newman dies at age 83
One of my favorite actors, Paul Newman, has passed away.
Legendary actor Paul Newman dies at age 83
Saturday September 27 9:16 AM ET
Paul Newman, the Academy-Award winning superstar who personified cool as an activist, race car driver, popcorn impresario and the anti-hero of such films as "Hud," "Cool Hand Luke" and "The Color of Money," has died. He was 83.
Newman died Friday after a long battle with cancer at his farmhouse near Westport, publicist Jeff Sanderson said. He was surrounded by his family and close friends.
In May, Newman he had dropped plans to direct a fall production of "Of Mice and Men," citing unspecified health issues.
ADVERTISEMENT
He got his start in theater and on television during the 1950s, and went on to become one of the world's most enduring and popular film stars, a legend held in awe by his peers. He was nominated for Oscars 10 times, winning one regular award and two honorary ones, and had major roles in more than 50 motion pictures, including "Exodus," "Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid," "The Verdict," "The Sting" and "Absence of Malice."
Newman worked with some of the greatest directors of the past half century, from Alfred Hitchcock and John Huston to Robert Altman, Martin Scorsese and the Coen brothers. His co-stars included Elizabeth Taylor, Lauren Bacall, Tom Cruise, Tom Hanks and, most famously, Robert Redford, his sidekick in "Butch Cassidy" and "The Sting."
He sometimes teamed with his wife and fellow Oscar winner, Joanne Woodward, with whom he had one of Hollywood's rare long-term marriages. "I have steak at home, why go out for hamburger?" Newman told Playboy magazine when asked if he was tempted to stray. They wed in 1958, around the same time they both appeared in "The Long Hot Summer," and Newman directed her in several films, including "Rachel, Rachel" and "The Glass Menagerie"
With his strong, classically handsome face and piercing blue eyes, Newman was a heartthrob just as likely to play against his looks, becoming a favorite with critics for his convincing portrayals of rebels, tough guys and losers. "I was always a character actor," he once said. "I just looked like Little Red Riding Hood."
Newman had a soft spot for underdogs in real life, giving tens of millions to charities through his food company and setting up camps for severely ill children. Passionately opposed to the Vietnam War, and in favor of civil rights, he was so famously liberal that he ended up on President Nixon's "enemies list," one of the actor's proudest achievements, he liked to say.
A screen legend by his mid-40s, he waited a long time for his first competitive Oscar, winning in 1987 for "The Color of Money," a reprise of the role of pool shark "Fast" Eddie Felson, whom Newman portrayed in the 1961 film "The Hustler."
Newman delivered a magnetic performance in "The Hustler," playing a smooth-talking, whiskey-chugging pool shark who takes on Minnesota Fats played by Jackie Gleason and becomes entangled with a gambler played by George C. Scott. In the sequel directed by Scorsese "Fast Eddie" is no longer the high-stakes hustler he once was, but rather an aging liquor salesman who takes a young pool player (Cruise) under his wing before making a comeback.
He won an honorary Oscar in 1986 "in recognition of his many and memorable compelling screen performances and for his personal integrity and dedication to his craft." In 1994, he won a third Oscar, the Jean Hersholt Humanitarian Award, for his charitable work.
His most recent academy nod was a supporting actor nomination for the 2002 film "Road to Perdition." One of Newman's nominations was as a producer; the other nine were in acting categories. (Jack Nicholson holds the record among actors for Oscar nominations, with 12; actress Meryl Streep has had 14.)
As he passed his 80th birthday, he remained in demand, winning an Emmy and a Golden Globe for the 2005 HBO drama "Empire Falls" and providing the voice of a crusty 1951 car in the 2006 Disney-Pixar hit, "Cars."
But in May 2007, he told ABC's "Good Morning America" he had given up acting, though he intended to remain active in charity projects. "I'm not able to work anymore as an actor at the level I would want to," he said. "You start to lose your memory, your confidence, your invention. So that's pretty much a closed book for me."
He received his first Oscar nomination for playing a bitter, alcoholic former star athlete in the 1958 film "Cat on a Hot Tin Roof." Elizabeth Taylor played his unhappy wife and Burl Ives his wealthy, domineering father in Tennessee Williams' harrowing drama, which was given an upbeat ending for the screen.
In "Cool Hand Luke," he was nominated for his gritty role as a rebellious inmate in a brutal Southern prison. The movie was one of the biggest hits of 1967 and included a tagline, delivered one time by Newman and one time by prison warden Strother Martin, that helped define the generation gap, "What we've got here is (a) failure to communicate."
Newman's hair was graying, but he was as gourgeous as ever and on the verge of his greatest popular success. In 1969, Newman teamed with Redford for "Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid," a comic Western about two outlaws running out of time. Newman paired with Redford again in 1973 in "The Sting," a comedy about two Depression-era con men. Both were multiple Oscar winners and huge hits, irreverent, unforgettable pairings of two of the best-looking actors of their time.
Newman also turned to producing and directing. In 1968, he directed "Rachel, Rachel," a film about a lonely spinster's rebirth. The movie received four Oscar nominations, including Newman, for producer of a best motion picture, and Woodward, for best actress. The film earned Newman the best director award from the New York Film Critics.
In the 1970s, Newman, admittedly bored with acting, became fascinated with auto racing, a sport he studied when he starred in the 1972 film, "Winning." After turning professional in 1977, Newman and his driving team made strong showings in several major races, including fifth place in Daytona in 1977 and second place in the Le Mans in 1979.
"Racing is the best way I know to get away from all the rubbish of Hollywood," he told People magazine in 1979.
Despite his love of race cars, Newman continued to make movies and continued to pile up Oscar nominations, his looks remarkably intact, his acting becoming more subtle, nothing like the mannered method performances of his early years, when he was sometimes dismissed as a Brando imitator. "It takes a long time for an actor to develop the assurance that the trim, silver-haired Paul Newman has acquired," Pauline Kael wrote of him in the early 1980s.
In 1982, he got his Oscar fifth nomination for his portrayal of an honest businessman persecuted by an irresponsible reporter in "Absence of Malice." The following year, he got his sixth for playing a down-and-out alcoholic attorney in "The Verdict."
In 1995, he was nominated for his slyest, most understated work yet, the town curmudgeon and deadbeat in "Nobody's Fool." New York Times critic Caryn James found his acting "without cheap sentiment and self-pity," and observed, "It says everything about Mr. Newman's performance, the single best of this year and among the finest he has ever given, that you never stop to wonder how a guy as good-looking as Paul Newman ended up this way."
Newman, who shunned Hollywood life, was reluctant to give interviews and usually refused to sign autographs because he found the majesty of the act offensive, according to one friend.
He also claimed that he never read reviews of his movies.
"If they're good you get a fat head and if they're bad you're depressed for three weeks," he said.
Off the screen, Newman had a taste for beer and was known for his practical jokes. He once had a Porsche installed in Redford's hallway crushed and covered with ribbons.
"I think that my sense of humor is the only thing that keeps me sane," he told Newsweek magazine in a 1994 interview.
In 1982, Newman and his Westport neighbor, writer A.E. Hotchner, started a company to market Newman's original oil-and-vinegar dressing. Newman's Own, which began as a joke, grew into a multimillion-dollar business selling popcorn, salad dressing, spaghetti sauce and other foods. All of the company's profits are donated to charities. By 2007, the company had donated more than $175 million, according to its Web site.
In 1988, Newman founded a camp in northeastern Connecticut for children with cancer and other life-threatening diseases. He went on to establish similar camps in several other states and in Europe.
He and Woodward bought an 18th century farmhouse in Westport, where they raised their three daughters, Elinor "Nell," Melissa and Clea.
Newman had two daughters, Susan and Stephanie, and a son, Scott, from a previous marriage to Jacqueline Witte.
Scott died in 1978 of an accidental overdose of alcohol and Valium. After his only son's death, Newman established the Scott Newman Foundation to finance the production of anti-drug films for children.
Newman was born in Cleveland, Ohio, the second of two boys of Arthur S. Newman, a partner in a sporting goods store, and Theresa Fetzer Newman.
He was raised in the affluent suburb of Shaker Heights, where he was encouraged him to pursue his interest in the arts by his mother and his uncle Joseph Newman, a well-known Ohio poet and journalist.
Following World War II service in the Navy, he enrolled at Kenyon College in Gambier, Ohio, where he got a degree in English and was active in student productions.
He later studied at Yale University's School of Drama, then headed to New York to work in theater and television, his classmates at the famed Actor's Studio including Brando, James Dean and Karl Malden. His breakthrough was enabled by tragedy: Dean, scheduled to star as the disfigured boxer in a television adaptation of Ernest Hemingway's "The Battler," died in a car crash in 1955. His role was taken by Newman, then a little-known performer.
Newman started in movies the year before, in "The Silver Chalice," a costume film he so despised that he took out an ad in Variety to apologize. By 1958, he had won the best actor award at the Cannes Film Festival for the shiftless Ben Quick in "The Long Hot Summer."
In December 1994, about a month before his 70th birthday, he told Newsweek magazine he had changed little with age.
"I'm not mellower, I'm not less angry, I'm not less self-critical, I'm not less tenacious," he said. "Maybe the best part is that your liver can't handle those beers at noon anymore," he said.
Newman is survived by his wife, five children, two grandsons and his older brother Arthur.
___
On the Net:
http://www.newmansown.com/
Legendary actor Paul Newman dies at age 83
Saturday September 27 9:16 AM ET
Paul Newman, the Academy-Award winning superstar who personified cool as an activist, race car driver, popcorn impresario and the anti-hero of such films as "Hud," "Cool Hand Luke" and "The Color of Money," has died. He was 83.
Newman died Friday after a long battle with cancer at his farmhouse near Westport, publicist Jeff Sanderson said. He was surrounded by his family and close friends.
In May, Newman he had dropped plans to direct a fall production of "Of Mice and Men," citing unspecified health issues.
ADVERTISEMENT
He got his start in theater and on television during the 1950s, and went on to become one of the world's most enduring and popular film stars, a legend held in awe by his peers. He was nominated for Oscars 10 times, winning one regular award and two honorary ones, and had major roles in more than 50 motion pictures, including "Exodus," "Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid," "The Verdict," "The Sting" and "Absence of Malice."
Newman worked with some of the greatest directors of the past half century, from Alfred Hitchcock and John Huston to Robert Altman, Martin Scorsese and the Coen brothers. His co-stars included Elizabeth Taylor, Lauren Bacall, Tom Cruise, Tom Hanks and, most famously, Robert Redford, his sidekick in "Butch Cassidy" and "The Sting."
He sometimes teamed with his wife and fellow Oscar winner, Joanne Woodward, with whom he had one of Hollywood's rare long-term marriages. "I have steak at home, why go out for hamburger?" Newman told Playboy magazine when asked if he was tempted to stray. They wed in 1958, around the same time they both appeared in "The Long Hot Summer," and Newman directed her in several films, including "Rachel, Rachel" and "The Glass Menagerie"
With his strong, classically handsome face and piercing blue eyes, Newman was a heartthrob just as likely to play against his looks, becoming a favorite with critics for his convincing portrayals of rebels, tough guys and losers. "I was always a character actor," he once said. "I just looked like Little Red Riding Hood."
Newman had a soft spot for underdogs in real life, giving tens of millions to charities through his food company and setting up camps for severely ill children. Passionately opposed to the Vietnam War, and in favor of civil rights, he was so famously liberal that he ended up on President Nixon's "enemies list," one of the actor's proudest achievements, he liked to say.
A screen legend by his mid-40s, he waited a long time for his first competitive Oscar, winning in 1987 for "The Color of Money," a reprise of the role of pool shark "Fast" Eddie Felson, whom Newman portrayed in the 1961 film "The Hustler."
Newman delivered a magnetic performance in "The Hustler," playing a smooth-talking, whiskey-chugging pool shark who takes on Minnesota Fats played by Jackie Gleason and becomes entangled with a gambler played by George C. Scott. In the sequel directed by Scorsese "Fast Eddie" is no longer the high-stakes hustler he once was, but rather an aging liquor salesman who takes a young pool player (Cruise) under his wing before making a comeback.
He won an honorary Oscar in 1986 "in recognition of his many and memorable compelling screen performances and for his personal integrity and dedication to his craft." In 1994, he won a third Oscar, the Jean Hersholt Humanitarian Award, for his charitable work.
His most recent academy nod was a supporting actor nomination for the 2002 film "Road to Perdition." One of Newman's nominations was as a producer; the other nine were in acting categories. (Jack Nicholson holds the record among actors for Oscar nominations, with 12; actress Meryl Streep has had 14.)
As he passed his 80th birthday, he remained in demand, winning an Emmy and a Golden Globe for the 2005 HBO drama "Empire Falls" and providing the voice of a crusty 1951 car in the 2006 Disney-Pixar hit, "Cars."
But in May 2007, he told ABC's "Good Morning America" he had given up acting, though he intended to remain active in charity projects. "I'm not able to work anymore as an actor at the level I would want to," he said. "You start to lose your memory, your confidence, your invention. So that's pretty much a closed book for me."
He received his first Oscar nomination for playing a bitter, alcoholic former star athlete in the 1958 film "Cat on a Hot Tin Roof." Elizabeth Taylor played his unhappy wife and Burl Ives his wealthy, domineering father in Tennessee Williams' harrowing drama, which was given an upbeat ending for the screen.
In "Cool Hand Luke," he was nominated for his gritty role as a rebellious inmate in a brutal Southern prison. The movie was one of the biggest hits of 1967 and included a tagline, delivered one time by Newman and one time by prison warden Strother Martin, that helped define the generation gap, "What we've got here is (a) failure to communicate."
Newman's hair was graying, but he was as gourgeous as ever and on the verge of his greatest popular success. In 1969, Newman teamed with Redford for "Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid," a comic Western about two outlaws running out of time. Newman paired with Redford again in 1973 in "The Sting," a comedy about two Depression-era con men. Both were multiple Oscar winners and huge hits, irreverent, unforgettable pairings of two of the best-looking actors of their time.
Newman also turned to producing and directing. In 1968, he directed "Rachel, Rachel," a film about a lonely spinster's rebirth. The movie received four Oscar nominations, including Newman, for producer of a best motion picture, and Woodward, for best actress. The film earned Newman the best director award from the New York Film Critics.
In the 1970s, Newman, admittedly bored with acting, became fascinated with auto racing, a sport he studied when he starred in the 1972 film, "Winning." After turning professional in 1977, Newman and his driving team made strong showings in several major races, including fifth place in Daytona in 1977 and second place in the Le Mans in 1979.
"Racing is the best way I know to get away from all the rubbish of Hollywood," he told People magazine in 1979.
Despite his love of race cars, Newman continued to make movies and continued to pile up Oscar nominations, his looks remarkably intact, his acting becoming more subtle, nothing like the mannered method performances of his early years, when he was sometimes dismissed as a Brando imitator. "It takes a long time for an actor to develop the assurance that the trim, silver-haired Paul Newman has acquired," Pauline Kael wrote of him in the early 1980s.
In 1982, he got his Oscar fifth nomination for his portrayal of an honest businessman persecuted by an irresponsible reporter in "Absence of Malice." The following year, he got his sixth for playing a down-and-out alcoholic attorney in "The Verdict."
In 1995, he was nominated for his slyest, most understated work yet, the town curmudgeon and deadbeat in "Nobody's Fool." New York Times critic Caryn James found his acting "without cheap sentiment and self-pity," and observed, "It says everything about Mr. Newman's performance, the single best of this year and among the finest he has ever given, that you never stop to wonder how a guy as good-looking as Paul Newman ended up this way."
Newman, who shunned Hollywood life, was reluctant to give interviews and usually refused to sign autographs because he found the majesty of the act offensive, according to one friend.
He also claimed that he never read reviews of his movies.
"If they're good you get a fat head and if they're bad you're depressed for three weeks," he said.
Off the screen, Newman had a taste for beer and was known for his practical jokes. He once had a Porsche installed in Redford's hallway crushed and covered with ribbons.
"I think that my sense of humor is the only thing that keeps me sane," he told Newsweek magazine in a 1994 interview.
In 1982, Newman and his Westport neighbor, writer A.E. Hotchner, started a company to market Newman's original oil-and-vinegar dressing. Newman's Own, which began as a joke, grew into a multimillion-dollar business selling popcorn, salad dressing, spaghetti sauce and other foods. All of the company's profits are donated to charities. By 2007, the company had donated more than $175 million, according to its Web site.
In 1988, Newman founded a camp in northeastern Connecticut for children with cancer and other life-threatening diseases. He went on to establish similar camps in several other states and in Europe.
He and Woodward bought an 18th century farmhouse in Westport, where they raised their three daughters, Elinor "Nell," Melissa and Clea.
Newman had two daughters, Susan and Stephanie, and a son, Scott, from a previous marriage to Jacqueline Witte.
Scott died in 1978 of an accidental overdose of alcohol and Valium. After his only son's death, Newman established the Scott Newman Foundation to finance the production of anti-drug films for children.
Newman was born in Cleveland, Ohio, the second of two boys of Arthur S. Newman, a partner in a sporting goods store, and Theresa Fetzer Newman.
He was raised in the affluent suburb of Shaker Heights, where he was encouraged him to pursue his interest in the arts by his mother and his uncle Joseph Newman, a well-known Ohio poet and journalist.
Following World War II service in the Navy, he enrolled at Kenyon College in Gambier, Ohio, where he got a degree in English and was active in student productions.
He later studied at Yale University's School of Drama, then headed to New York to work in theater and television, his classmates at the famed Actor's Studio including Brando, James Dean and Karl Malden. His breakthrough was enabled by tragedy: Dean, scheduled to star as the disfigured boxer in a television adaptation of Ernest Hemingway's "The Battler," died in a car crash in 1955. His role was taken by Newman, then a little-known performer.
Newman started in movies the year before, in "The Silver Chalice," a costume film he so despised that he took out an ad in Variety to apologize. By 1958, he had won the best actor award at the Cannes Film Festival for the shiftless Ben Quick in "The Long Hot Summer."
In December 1994, about a month before his 70th birthday, he told Newsweek magazine he had changed little with age.
"I'm not mellower, I'm not less angry, I'm not less self-critical, I'm not less tenacious," he said. "Maybe the best part is that your liver can't handle those beers at noon anymore," he said.
Newman is survived by his wife, five children, two grandsons and his older brother Arthur.
___
On the Net:
http://www.newmansown.com/
Monday, September 15, 2008
US in 'once-in-a-century' financial crisis : Greenspan
Sep 14 02:18 PM US/Eastern
The United States is mired in a "once-in-a century" financial crisis which is now more than likely to spark a recession, former Federal Reserve chief Alan Greenspan said Sunday.
The talismanic ex-central banker said that the crisis was the worst he had seen in his career, still had a long way to go and would continue to effect home prices in the United States.
"First of all, let's recognize that this is a once-in-a-half-century, probably once-in-a-century type of event," Greenspan said on ABC's "This Week."
Asked whether the crisis, which has seen the US government step in to bail out mortgage giants Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae, was the worst of his career, Greenspan replied "Oh, by far."
"There's no question that this is in the process of outstripping anything I've seen, and it still is not resolved and it still has a way to go," Greenspan said.
"And indeed, it will continue to be a corrosive force until the price of homes in the United States stabilizes.
"That will induce a series of events around the globe which will stabilize the system."
Greenspan was also asked whether the United States had a greater-than 50 percent chance of escaping a recession.
"No, I think it's less than 50 percent.
"I can't believe we could have a once-in-a-century type of financial crisis without a significant impact on the real economy globally, and I think that indeed is what is in the process of occurring."
The former Federal Reserve chairman also predicted that the financial crisis would see the failure of more major financial institutions, even as embattled Wall Street investment giant Lehman Brothers scrambled to find a buyer.
"In and of itself that does not need to be a problem.
"It depends on how it is handled and how the liquidations take place. And indeed we shouldn't try to protect every single institution."
On Saturday, Democrat Barack Obama's campaign seized on a warning from Greenspan about John McCain's tax plans to portray the Republican as economically reckless.
In an interview with Bloomberg Television Friday, Greenspan said the nation could not afford 3.3 trillion dollars of tax cuts proposed by McCain without matching cuts in spending.
Greenspan, a long-time friend of McCain and a Republican, said about the Arizona senator's plans to extend massive tax cuts imposed by President George W. Bush: "I'm not in favor of financing tax cuts with borrowed money."
McCain has said he would pay for his cuts by ending pet funding projects for US lawmakers' districts known as "earmarks."
The United States is mired in a "once-in-a century" financial crisis which is now more than likely to spark a recession, former Federal Reserve chief Alan Greenspan said Sunday.
The talismanic ex-central banker said that the crisis was the worst he had seen in his career, still had a long way to go and would continue to effect home prices in the United States.
"First of all, let's recognize that this is a once-in-a-half-century, probably once-in-a-century type of event," Greenspan said on ABC's "This Week."
Asked whether the crisis, which has seen the US government step in to bail out mortgage giants Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae, was the worst of his career, Greenspan replied "Oh, by far."
"There's no question that this is in the process of outstripping anything I've seen, and it still is not resolved and it still has a way to go," Greenspan said.
"And indeed, it will continue to be a corrosive force until the price of homes in the United States stabilizes.
"That will induce a series of events around the globe which will stabilize the system."
Greenspan was also asked whether the United States had a greater-than 50 percent chance of escaping a recession.
"No, I think it's less than 50 percent.
"I can't believe we could have a once-in-a-century type of financial crisis without a significant impact on the real economy globally, and I think that indeed is what is in the process of occurring."
The former Federal Reserve chairman also predicted that the financial crisis would see the failure of more major financial institutions, even as embattled Wall Street investment giant Lehman Brothers scrambled to find a buyer.
"In and of itself that does not need to be a problem.
"It depends on how it is handled and how the liquidations take place. And indeed we shouldn't try to protect every single institution."
On Saturday, Democrat Barack Obama's campaign seized on a warning from Greenspan about John McCain's tax plans to portray the Republican as economically reckless.
In an interview with Bloomberg Television Friday, Greenspan said the nation could not afford 3.3 trillion dollars of tax cuts proposed by McCain without matching cuts in spending.
Greenspan, a long-time friend of McCain and a Republican, said about the Arizona senator's plans to extend massive tax cuts imposed by President George W. Bush: "I'm not in favor of financing tax cuts with borrowed money."
McCain has said he would pay for his cuts by ending pet funding projects for US lawmakers' districts known as "earmarks."
Saturday, September 13, 2008
Lost Star Wars Scene
This has a bit of choice language in it but it's pretty darn funny. (I had the wrong clip posted, it
s correct now.)
s correct now.)
Sunday, September 07, 2008
Funny Cat Story - 'My Cat is a Vampire'
I used to have two cats, Amadeus and Minuet. My wife sent this story to me and it really made me laugh and remember. I had to post it.
---------------------------------------------
My cat might be a vampire
By Bob Rybarczyk
SPECIAL TO THE POST-DISPATCH
08/19/2008
I might be raising a vampire cat.
I don’t understand cats.
I just don’t. I never really have. I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve watched our cats doing something and wondered what in the hell they’re thinking. They think a piece of paper makes a perfect platform for a six-hour nap. They refuse to eat the last few pieces of kibble in their dish, and yet they are all too happy to drink out of the toilet. You get the point.
What surprises me the most is that they seem to keep coming up with new ways to be weird. I’ve only been around cats for the last four years or so, but you’d think four years would be more than enough time to figure out a species that can be amused for days by a pipe cleaner. Nope.
We have two cats in our house, Frisco and Charlie. Frisco is 14, large enough to exhibit his own gravitational pull, and generally disgruntled. Charlie is less than a year old, apparently made of balsa wood and rubber bands, and a complete idiot. They are Fatboy and the Freakshow. The immovable object and the unstoppable force.
Big fat Frisco sleeps 23.99 hours a day. When he’s not sleeping, he’s eating or seeking out a new place to sleep. His hobbies include sleeping and gaining weight. Charlie barely sleeps at all and is about as bright as a slab of poorly cooked liver. He finds everything to be either fascinating or terrifying. There is no middle ground. One second he can be sprinting through the house like he’s being chased by Satan on a scooter, and the next he’ll be lying in your arms waiting for you to rub his belly.
When we first introduced Charlie to Frisco last winter, Frisco spent the better part of a month hiding in the basement. We weren’t sure if he was afraid of Charlie or just really hacked off at us. Eventually they found a way to peacefully coexist. They weren’t buddies by any means, but they made it work.
A few months ago, that all changed. Charlie decided, I guess, that he was tired of avoiding Frisco. Instead, he began assaulting him.
At first, Charlie would simply run up to Frisco and start whacking him in the head or wrestling with him. It seemed like the kind of things kittens do when they want to play. Frisco, being the cranky old man that he is, would want none of it. He’d fight back but would give it a minimum effort. His goal was not to play, but to inflict just enough pain to get Charlie to go away. Unfortunately, despite weighing more than several third-world nations, Frisco is a mediocre fighter. He gets in a good shot once in a while, but for the most part all he does is get Charlie in the mood for more shenanigans.
None of this really seemed all that weird or surprising. Kittens, especially male kittens, enjoy a good whack in the head once in a while. When I was a kid, a crack upside the noggin was a good time.
A couple weeks ago, however, Charlie changed his tactics, and this is the part that has me confused. Charlie, you see, has begun licking Frisco. Now don’t start going all, “Awww, isn’t that adorable,” because you haven’t heard the entire thing. I actually thought it was adorable the first time I saw it, too. I should have known better.
The first time I saw it, Charlie walked up to Frisco as if he were in the mood for a ruckus, but instead of whacking Fat Boy upside the head, he put him in this kitty-headlock sort of grip and began licking Frisco’s head and ears. “Aww,” I said. “Isn’t that…” But before I could finish, Charlie’s mouth opened, exposing his little kitty fangs, and he bit Frisco right in the neck.
This did not go over well with Frisco. Not one bit. He cracked open a six-pack of pain and went after Charlie like he was made out of delicious turkey. If there had been a crowbar nearby, Frisco would have, through sheer force of will, grown opposable thumbs and wielded it like a baseball bat.
Charlie’s fast, and Frisco tires after about two seconds of activity, so the little one was able to get away unscathed. I figured I’d never see anything that stupid again.
Again, I should have known better. The very next day, Frisco was sleeping on the floor and Charlie climbed on top of him, licked his head and ears, and chomped him in the neck. Once again, Frisco raged against the machine. This time, though, Charlie didn’t instantly flee. He stuck around for what he probably thought was a rollicking good time.
Oddly enough, Frisco didn’t really seem all that homicidal. He fought back, but not like before. Instead, he rolled around with Charlie a bit, whacked him on the head a couple dozen times, and chased him away. I didn’t get it.
As the days went by, I saw the same thing over and over. Lick, bite, scrap. Lick, bite, scrap. Frisco had to know that whenever Charlie licked him, a bite in the neck was coming. Right? Frisco’s stupid, but he can’t be that stupid. You’d think that he’d kick Charlie in the chin any time he stuck out his tongue.
And why is Charlie even bothering to lick Frisco in the first place? Does he think Frisco’s going to be fooled by the bizarre display of faux affection? Or does he do it because he finds Frisco tasty? Why bite him in the neck in the first place? Was the usual form of wrestling not entertaining enough?
You see, this is all stuff I don’t understand. Dozens of questions, not one single answer. I’m left to simply wonder. It makes me crazy. I’d give anything to have the cats speak English for even a few minutes, just so I could ask them these things.
Although, you know, even if I could ask them, they’d probably just shrug and say they had no idea why they do what they do. They’d probably ask me why I spend so much time sitting in front of the computer or eating things that don’t taste like dead birds.
Maybe it’s better that I don’t know. I suppose as long as Charlie doesn’t start biting me in the neck, I shouldn’t worry about it.
Of course, there’s always the possibility that Charlie’s a vampire, and that it’s just a matter of time before all of us, Frisco included, become his mindless slaves.
Nah. Vampires don’t drink out of the toilet.
---------------------------------------------
My cat might be a vampire
By Bob Rybarczyk
SPECIAL TO THE POST-DISPATCH
08/19/2008
I might be raising a vampire cat.
I don’t understand cats.
I just don’t. I never really have. I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve watched our cats doing something and wondered what in the hell they’re thinking. They think a piece of paper makes a perfect platform for a six-hour nap. They refuse to eat the last few pieces of kibble in their dish, and yet they are all too happy to drink out of the toilet. You get the point.
What surprises me the most is that they seem to keep coming up with new ways to be weird. I’ve only been around cats for the last four years or so, but you’d think four years would be more than enough time to figure out a species that can be amused for days by a pipe cleaner. Nope.
We have two cats in our house, Frisco and Charlie. Frisco is 14, large enough to exhibit his own gravitational pull, and generally disgruntled. Charlie is less than a year old, apparently made of balsa wood and rubber bands, and a complete idiot. They are Fatboy and the Freakshow. The immovable object and the unstoppable force.
Big fat Frisco sleeps 23.99 hours a day. When he’s not sleeping, he’s eating or seeking out a new place to sleep. His hobbies include sleeping and gaining weight. Charlie barely sleeps at all and is about as bright as a slab of poorly cooked liver. He finds everything to be either fascinating or terrifying. There is no middle ground. One second he can be sprinting through the house like he’s being chased by Satan on a scooter, and the next he’ll be lying in your arms waiting for you to rub his belly.
When we first introduced Charlie to Frisco last winter, Frisco spent the better part of a month hiding in the basement. We weren’t sure if he was afraid of Charlie or just really hacked off at us. Eventually they found a way to peacefully coexist. They weren’t buddies by any means, but they made it work.
A few months ago, that all changed. Charlie decided, I guess, that he was tired of avoiding Frisco. Instead, he began assaulting him.
At first, Charlie would simply run up to Frisco and start whacking him in the head or wrestling with him. It seemed like the kind of things kittens do when they want to play. Frisco, being the cranky old man that he is, would want none of it. He’d fight back but would give it a minimum effort. His goal was not to play, but to inflict just enough pain to get Charlie to go away. Unfortunately, despite weighing more than several third-world nations, Frisco is a mediocre fighter. He gets in a good shot once in a while, but for the most part all he does is get Charlie in the mood for more shenanigans.
None of this really seemed all that weird or surprising. Kittens, especially male kittens, enjoy a good whack in the head once in a while. When I was a kid, a crack upside the noggin was a good time.
A couple weeks ago, however, Charlie changed his tactics, and this is the part that has me confused. Charlie, you see, has begun licking Frisco. Now don’t start going all, “Awww, isn’t that adorable,” because you haven’t heard the entire thing. I actually thought it was adorable the first time I saw it, too. I should have known better.
The first time I saw it, Charlie walked up to Frisco as if he were in the mood for a ruckus, but instead of whacking Fat Boy upside the head, he put him in this kitty-headlock sort of grip and began licking Frisco’s head and ears. “Aww,” I said. “Isn’t that…” But before I could finish, Charlie’s mouth opened, exposing his little kitty fangs, and he bit Frisco right in the neck.
This did not go over well with Frisco. Not one bit. He cracked open a six-pack of pain and went after Charlie like he was made out of delicious turkey. If there had been a crowbar nearby, Frisco would have, through sheer force of will, grown opposable thumbs and wielded it like a baseball bat.
Charlie’s fast, and Frisco tires after about two seconds of activity, so the little one was able to get away unscathed. I figured I’d never see anything that stupid again.
Again, I should have known better. The very next day, Frisco was sleeping on the floor and Charlie climbed on top of him, licked his head and ears, and chomped him in the neck. Once again, Frisco raged against the machine. This time, though, Charlie didn’t instantly flee. He stuck around for what he probably thought was a rollicking good time.
Oddly enough, Frisco didn’t really seem all that homicidal. He fought back, but not like before. Instead, he rolled around with Charlie a bit, whacked him on the head a couple dozen times, and chased him away. I didn’t get it.
As the days went by, I saw the same thing over and over. Lick, bite, scrap. Lick, bite, scrap. Frisco had to know that whenever Charlie licked him, a bite in the neck was coming. Right? Frisco’s stupid, but he can’t be that stupid. You’d think that he’d kick Charlie in the chin any time he stuck out his tongue.
And why is Charlie even bothering to lick Frisco in the first place? Does he think Frisco’s going to be fooled by the bizarre display of faux affection? Or does he do it because he finds Frisco tasty? Why bite him in the neck in the first place? Was the usual form of wrestling not entertaining enough?
You see, this is all stuff I don’t understand. Dozens of questions, not one single answer. I’m left to simply wonder. It makes me crazy. I’d give anything to have the cats speak English for even a few minutes, just so I could ask them these things.
Although, you know, even if I could ask them, they’d probably just shrug and say they had no idea why they do what they do. They’d probably ask me why I spend so much time sitting in front of the computer or eating things that don’t taste like dead birds.
Maybe it’s better that I don’t know. I suppose as long as Charlie doesn’t start biting me in the neck, I shouldn’t worry about it.
Of course, there’s always the possibility that Charlie’s a vampire, and that it’s just a matter of time before all of us, Frisco included, become his mindless slaves.
Nah. Vampires don’t drink out of the toilet.
Wednesday, September 03, 2008
Second Foot Surgery - Screw Removal
Here are pictures of the screw removed during my second foot surgery. The screw is about two inches long and had to be removed to allow proper mobility in my big toe. My surgeon has done an excellent job throughout this process.
Monday, September 01, 2008
Big Cookout
I went to a big cookout at my folks last night with Shannon and the boys. My friend Bruce and his brother and sister were there. My dear old friends, Craig and Heather were there with their girls. I've know both of them since grade school back in New York. They live close by but it's been 1year and two months since I last saw them. What a crime, there really is no excuse for it being so long. Hopefully I'll see them again soon, in a matter of days or weeks, not months or years.
At any rate the big event was a lot of fun, most of it spent trying to cram the details of 14 months into 4 or 5 hours.
The food was good and the conversation was good too.
At any rate the big event was a lot of fun, most of it spent trying to cram the details of 14 months into 4 or 5 hours.
The food was good and the conversation was good too.
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